HOW PARENTS ARGUMENT EFFECT CHILDREN?
The number of parents who never quarrel is very low. So what children feel in this situation? Do parents deny from quarreling in front of children? Or can they make a quarrel in comity? Here are some ideas from authorities.
Children learn many things from their families. Family is the first place that children got educated first. They learn from their families that sometimes there can be unagreement and people can discuss their problems. The behaviours of parents during the argument is important if they show respect to eachother during argument the child got message that his/her parents are trying to solve their problems. Mother and father are two factors for confidence. If they shout at themselves during the argument or they use bad words the child especially who are at pre-education age think that they are not loved by their parents and they argue because of himself/herself.
The parents should be exemplify in order to teach their children the limits. If blind anger is used during the argument this is terrifying for children. If there is explosion of wrath and practise of violence, they see that their parents are becoming to different creatures. Children are afraid of targetting the anger to themselves. Their sense of security is tossed. Never forget that children are exemplify their parents in forming their relations. The possibility of trying to act like his aggressive father of a son is very high. The arguments should be ended before the tension is uprising.
Children lost their self respect if they are grown up in quarrelling environment because his/her parents are his/her model. For personnel development of children it is important to teach children discussing problems without insulting, putting pressure on himself/herself, and not emposing ideas on them. But never discuss economic problems and the problems about the children in front of your children. You should teach your child how to discuss problems and defend his/her ideas without quarrelling by being model.
If child is grown up in environment whereas polemic takes place very often, s/he lives many problems like night mares and wetting his/her underclothes, aggressive attitudes, telling lies, masturbation, etc. These effect personnel development of child in negative way. After a quarrel parents should speak with their children in order to lessen the fear of children. The message of ‘This subject is our problem and we will solve this. It does not have relation with you’ should be given to the children.
The children began to be effected from arguments between parents from 2-3 ages old. The older children lives fear of divorcing of their parents. Boys behaves more aggresive whereas girls are giving more emotional reactions. Their school success declines and they can have bad habits. And in advanced years, the children will show the same behaviours which they learnt from their parents. The right method is to quarrel in place where children are absent. It is better to discuss problems a day later because people are more emotional at that moment. While the argument the couple should not insult themselves and never make children to take a stand.
Never do these: – Do not impend him/her with suiciding and dead. Never use expressions as divorcing, seperating, leaving.
– Do not make children to take a stand
– Do not target your anger to your children
– Do not reflect discredit upon your wife/husband.
